MattOnFire

I’m thankful for my family. Most of them live far away. Miss them, but they’re not all up in my face everyday, so that’s a good thing, I guess. I can’t get suckered into mowing my parent’s lawn if I’m 550 miles away!

I’m thankful for my pets. They’re turds, but they give me an outlet for anger and make for good victims of my pranks. Okay, they make for good company, too. They give me someone to talk to when there’s a commercial on TV.

I’m thankful for coffee. Without it, I wouldn’t get a lick of work done or be able to change from my PJs into my comfy jeans.

I’m thankful for losing my job. Seriously. It sucked at the time, but I’m much better off now. I’m immensely happier now… following my passion blah blah blah and doing well financially blah blah blah.

I’m thankful for my friends. They like football and beer and internetting and watching my dog when I go out of town for the weekend. They help me fix stuff that I have no clue how to fix, like a broken toilet. They let me borrow a leaf blower, screwdriver, cup of sugar, paintbrush, ladder and other household necessities that I’m too cheap to buy.

I’m thankful for the people I work for and the people who are helping me get my business off the ground. I truly enjoy the work that I do with your companies/organizations and hope to have a long professional relationship with you. Having said that, can I get an advance on next month’s pay? You know… holidays?

I’m thankful for my internet friends. The Twitter people. They tell funny jokes. They promote charitable organizations. They offer links to informative articles and videos. They spam me with viruses and bad porno.

I’m thankful for my iPhone. I don’t know how I got out of bed without it. Still waiting for the Make Me A Sammich app, though.

I’m thankful for our real estate agent. She’s gonna find us a kick-ass house that we won’t be able to pay for, but we’ll love it for the month or so that we live there.

I’m thankful for these blogs: Café Darkness, Filthy Richmond, Fluid Pusher, Not Always About Monkeys, Tobacco Avenue, and the one who inspired it all, The Checkout Girl. I check them every day (sometimes 7 times a day). They are all great writers who have distinct (and sometimes nasty) humorous styles. Reading them makes me want to be a better blogger and better human being. Just kidding. I’m already a pretty rad human being.

I’m thankful that I discovered that coating the inside of a taco shell with queso dip before filling it with meat and stuff is the most delicious thing ever. EVER. I’m thankful for tacos. And cheeseburgers. And pizza. And pizza rolls. And anything else I have to lie about eating.

Last but not least – and seriously – I’m thankful for Wifey. She’s my best friend. She’s the hardest working woman in the history of the world. She’s great with kids. She’s good with money. She almost gets as excited as I do about Taco Night. She listens to me complain. She listens to me ramble. She puts up with my nonsense. She lets me watch hockey and hang my jerseys up in the basement. She laughs at my jokes. Whenever I sing a song, she tries to join in – even if she doesn’t know the words and is horribly off key. I’m thankful for everything she does and I truly appreciate her in every way possible.

So happy Thanksgiving, everyone! And now, if you excuse me, I have to let out the waist and sew in some more elastic in my special eatin’ pants.